I am a Murderer

Yeah, I killed her. And she happens to be a timid and helpless cockroach. The very killing stirred some emotions in me. It is not the first time that I was involved in a killing but there is something very intriguing this time. The first time I saw her, she was strutting pompously in my room. She seemed to be aimless and free spirited. She had the wings of an angel but never cared to use it, an emancipated spirit raring to explore every nook and corner of my room. I was overwhelmed with a sense of elation and wondered how a creepy creature like her, can ever be so exuberant. Then a sense of jealously simmered in me. How can she be so unfettered and do whatever she desired to, whereas I being a homo-sapien, having a better brain, and feel so impotent. I despised her. My vanity stood vindicated over my lost virtues and a vice like grip engrossed me. I took my first step to kill the poor creature.

I detested pulping her, at the very thought of me cleaning the floor off all the slimes that the dead cockroach would have left. Then I remembered that I had an insecticide. It sells in the market with a brand name of “HIT”. For once, I felt very good about the ad. I remembered how the generous Miss would play kabaddi with the cockroaches and eventually salvage her pride by killing those repugnant creatures. So, I clinged to one of the most admirable inventions. The cockroach was unaware of my nefarious plan. She was still lingering about the floor.

I was not alone in my pogrom, a room mate of mine too was present and cheering me for my elegant act. I aimed the nozzle at the ignorant creature and pressed it hard. She didn’t fickle a bit. She seemed to endure the lethal attack. That infuriated me to the extent. I pressed my index finger still harder on the nozzle, pumping out as much pesticide as I can on that insolent creature. Then a miracle happened, she began to fail. This time she didn’t strut pompously, instead she frenzied and run amok all about the room. And I basked at this devilish sight. She fluttered her wings rapidly, but she could not fly. She must have pleaded to The Almighty, but all to her vain, there was no one who could have come to her aid. She was about to meet her end. And after a while she died, died as silently as she would have come to this world.

On the onset, I was feeling with pride and congratulated myself with all the kudos. But later on when I moved to pick the dead creature and wanted to throw her out of the room, I observed the intricacies of her body and wondered how beautiful she was. I marveled at the creation of the Almighty. I lauded his creation. Then at that moment I realized, I have killed his very same creation. I turned blue, a gloomy envelope engulfed me. I repented for the same act for which a moment ago I had lauded myself. I wanted to give Life back to the corpse, with the very same right, I had taken, but I could not. I found myself as helpless as she was. I being a Human, could not help a bit. She was already dead, how much would I try, I won’t be able to bring her to Life. With this very realization I broke, broke down to my spirits.